"I'm fat! I have nothing to wear!"
I joke with my mom that these must have been my first full sentences because it’s what I always heard her shouting from inside her dressing closet. It’s a terrible joke, but one that we both agree holds a lot of truth. My mother is in fact quite tiny – a petite lady who has never felt small enough, and (un)lucky for me, I’ve have always held the same thoughts about my own body.
During my pregnancy, I vividly remember John telling me that whether the baby was a boy or girl, and most especially if the baby was a girl, that he would not tolerate me criticizing my body and setting an unhealthy example of body image. “I’m fat” was officially banned in this home.
The timing of John’s declaration wasn’t great being that I was a big, puffy, swollen, and hormonal pregnant woman who often compared herself to a balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. However, the message itself was exactly what I needed to begin shifting away from the closet conversations I was having because would you know that a little girl was soon to arrive!
Now I have a daughter, I truly appreciate how what I say and do sets the tone for how she perceives reality. I want her to be comfortable in her skin and see her beauty because it radiates from within, not because her clothes are a tiny size. How do I teach Birdie to have a healthy body image when it’s something I struggle with daily? It’s odd because I’m a confident woman; I know my talents and I know my value. Yet that doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with how I see what’s reflected in the mirror.
Also, I have plenty to wear. My husband will never have pity over that dramatization. :)