The "F" Word

"I'm fat! I have nothing to wear!"

I joke with my mom that these must have been my first full sentences because it’s what I always heard her shouting from inside her dressing closet. It’s a terrible joke, but one that we both agree holds a lot of truth. My mother is in fact quite tiny – a petite lady who has never felt small enough, and (un)lucky for me, I’ve have always held the same thoughts about my own body.


During my pregnancy, I vividly remember John telling me that whether the baby was a boy or girl, and most especially if the baby was a girl, that he would not tolerate me criticizing my body and setting an unhealthy example of body image. “I’m fat” was officially banned in this home.

Blouse: Queen City Market Monroeville; Jeans (Level 99) and Earrings: Mel & Mimi; Stuart Weitzman Sandals (similar here on sale); Clutch: JCrew (so old)


The timing of John’s declaration wasn’t great being that I was a big, puffy, swollen, and hormonal pregnant woman who often compared herself to a balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. However, the message itself was exactly what I needed to begin shifting away from the closet conversations I was having because would you know that a little girl was soon to arrive!


Now I have a daughter, I truly appreciate how what I say and do sets the tone for how she perceives reality. I want her to be comfortable in her skin and see her beauty because it radiates from within, not because her clothes are a tiny size. How do I teach Birdie to have a healthy body image when it’s something I struggle with daily? It’s odd because I’m a confident woman; I know my talents and I know my value. Yet that doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with how I see what’s reflected in the mirror.


Also, I have plenty to wear. My husband will never have pity over that dramatization. :)


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